And Now for something completely different!

The Misadventures of Captain Zoom

SD F/X: WHOOSH

NARRATOR: Continuing our adventure, Captain Zoom and Rocket Lad are trapped in the dungeons of grime where the evil Dr. Maligned has them in his Quantum Articulator trap and is about to launch them into the time vortex.

F/X: CRANKING AND METAL SQUEAL

ROCKET LAD: Gosh Captain Zoom- how’re we gonna escape this debacle.

F/X: CLINKING OF CHAIN

CAPTIAN ZOOM: Never fear Rocket Lad, I have a plan.

LAD: What plan? How could you have a conceivably have a plan?

ZOOM: If I can just move this chain-

F/X: CHAIN CLINKING

LAD: What are you doing Captian Zoom

ZOOM: Well Rocket Lad, I am shifting my left hand in the chains binding us to the articulator table  to reach my accessory belt to get at my leatherman Toolkit 2000- so that I can separate the wires connecting the electro-lock on our bindings to the Time Vortex Projector thereby causing a cascade effect and thus freeing us.

F/X: ROARING

DR. MALIGNED: There is no escape, Captain Zoom-ha ha ha.

F/X: ZAPPING AND SPARKING

LAD: Gee Captain, how did you become so adept with that Leatherman Crimp Tool 2000?

ZOOM: Well Rocket Lad, I got adept with the Leatherman Crimp Tool 2000 by drinking my own special brand of chocolate milk Zoom Juice. Which makes you faster and stronger than the bad guys.

LAD: Wow, I wish that I had drunk my Zoom juice.

F/X: EXPLOSION

MALIGNED: No! This cannot be! It’s Inconceivable! It’s-

F/X: MORE EXPLOSION AND HISSING AND YELLING

F/X: SOUNDS FADE INTO SILENCE

LAD: Golly- it is sure dark in here. Captain Zoom? Where are you?

F/X: CLINKING THEN RIPPING CHAINS

ZOOM: I really don’t know Rocket Lad, but I suspect that the lights are out.

LAD: Of course the lights are out you fool!

ZOOM: Rocket Lad- I don’t like your tone of voice.

LAD: Argh! I don’t like my tone of voice- it’s squeaky and girlish!

ZOOM: Rocket Lad- what has gotten into you?

LAD: It must be Dr. Maligned, yes; he must have done something to me.

ZOOM: Really?

LAD: No, I am really miffed- you moron!

ZOOM: Oh.

LAD: Why is it that you always state the obvious! Of course the lights are out you buffoon! But why? Where is Dr. Maligned?

MALIGNED: I am right here!

F/X: SCREAM, SHUFFLING, SMACK

LAD: Help Captain Zoom! Save me.

ZOOM: No.

LAD: What?

ZOOM: No, you called me a moron.

LAD: What?

ZOOM: You called me a moron.

LAD: I-

MALIGNED: Boys. Can we get back to the story?

LAD: What story? Do you means this is all some kind of sick fantasy where I am the helpless sidekick of a fruity superhero?

ZOOM: That is it. I quit. Dr. Maligned you can do whatever you want with him or her or whatever.

F/X: FOOTSTEPS, DOOR SLAMS

LAD: Uh-Oh

NARRATOR: Does this spell the end of the Magnificent Duo, Will Captain Zoom renew his contract? Will Dr. Maligned kill Rocket Lad? Will-

LAD: No! You can’t let it end like this- we need a better cliffhanger-

NARRATOR: Will Rocket Lad get a grip and learn some humility-

F/X: MUSIC FADES UP

LAD: Wait, what do you know about it anyway-

MALIGNED: Maybe I will get better lines next time.

LAD: No.

NARRATOR: Tune in tomorrow Kids and don’t forget to drink Your Zoom Juice!

LAD: No, no, no!

F/X: MUSIC ENDS.